"Mindless"

Mental anguish seems to be
Just a way of life for me…
I love to fight my thoughts and dreams,
Prodding my heart each time it screams.

Let me hang onto the hatred of life.
Let me forever caress the knife…
I need the pain, and all it's rage
To reach the end of each page.

Turn the corner - the world is new.
There once was nothing… now there's you.
But still I need to recall and regret.
I haven't learned to love life yet.

Shadows caress me, the light is a threat…
So much of life I don't know yet.
Walk me through my minds battleground.
Share with me the peace that you've found.

How I need to hate the past,
And yet the memories must last…
If I'm unfaithful it will attack,
And I fear I will not make it back.

I don't understand me, and yet you do.
Hand me this vision so fresh and new!
Let me know what it is you see -
As you gaze into the depths of me…

Senseless ramblings of my throbbing mind -
The only taste of peace I can find.
Still the words invite the fear -
To whisper sweet madness in my ear…

Turn the page; A brand new sea -
Of longing opens up in me.
I look across the futures plane -
Beyond confusion, beyond the pain…

I believe there's nothing that cannot be…
If I learn to believe in me.
And yet I drag my mind down deep -
To where the nightmares never sleep.

It became so comfortable in hell.
I learned to play it's games quite well.
The rules have changed in this world of life -
I miss the intensity, and strife…

Walk with me through this strange new land…
I need your strength - hold my hand.
Show me how to read my mind.
So much alone, I cannot find.

© 10/04/98 Barry Wayne Veinotte

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