INDIFFERENCE

Only in perfect pain can I find peace.
Only when all is lost does the longing cease.
Seems I win this time around;
I like the indifference I have found.

I accept nothing, it's my identity.
I rest in my minds chaotic sea -
And dream of things that I have lost,
Moments of peace, but at such a cost.

Only in perfect fear can I be brave.
I live only when I'm close to the grave.
When all is well depression creeps in,
Urging me back to the edge again.

Where I go no longer matters to me.
Wherever it is, there I'll be.
If I escape this prison in my mind -
What horrid beauty would I find...

Freedom will never touch this soul;
I will never reach my goal -
Of peace, faith, serenity,
For only in darkness can I see.

Only in perfect pain can I find peace;
Only amidst chaos does this madness cease.
Seems I win this time around -
I love the indifference I have found.

© Barry Wayne Veinotte