Defeat

Now I've lost it yet again...
Trading life for a sea of pain.
I'm finding I no longer care;
A scent of finality in the air.

Time and time again I've fought...
In my head I am still caught.
Fighting thoughts and senseless words;
Everything I've seen and heard.

I'm not strong enough to quit...
So in this hurricane I sit.
No longer wishing for what I need;
Content to just sit here and bleed.

I've lost it all yet again...
I race around within my brain,
Searching for acceptance and peace;
Praying for feeling to cease.

Life is death and death is life...
Nothing matters, not joy nor strife.
Freedom is a state of mind;
I'd see it if I weren't so blind.

Farewell to all those I have lost...
I'll sell all my grief at cost.
Farewell to love and to hate;
I'd try to care but it's too late.

You win life, you twisted foe...
I've gone where you said to go.
You've beaten me at my best;
Now I'll put myself to rest.

I'll not moan nor will I cry...
I'll not live or really die.
I am just an empty shell;
I refuse to feel the anguish of hell.

I've lost it all yet again...
But I'll not feel the pain.
I'll retreat deep inside the mist;
And wait for Death's sweet, peaceful kiss.

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