Contradiction

Living in a nightmare; afraid to leave the dark.
Wondering why I can't seem to heal my heart.
Tomorrow will be no better than life was today;
Anguish is the forecast, until my dying day.

Wondering why I've condemned myself to this living hell;
Why can't I accept life when all is going well?
My enemy lives within me, so how can I win?
I can't let him out, and I cannot get in.

Wishing for some peace, but relishing the pain;
Wanting to be stable, while acting so insane.
Contraction of goals, playing games with my life;
Each time I am happy, I reinsert the knife.

Living with a madman locked within my mind;
Searching for something that I'm afraid to find.
Death enters with its offer in its hand -
The end of all pain; more peace than I could stand...

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