I Long To Hate You

God how I long to hate you;
Despise you for your betrayal.
But my misplaced anger turns on me,
Plunging me back into the choking fog of longing.

I want to say it's all your fault;
You are the one who walked out;
You are the one who was unfaithful;
But my heart refuses to deny -
that I played a part as well...

I pray to be able to forget you,
and just get on with my life;
But I cannot remember
what life was before you.

You were everything; My SoulMate.
Now my goals and dreams
have all gone with you.
My mind tells me that my heart will heal;
My heart tells me it cannot go on.
My soul simply aches...
and each tear that falls
washes away a little more of me.
How can such pain be possible?
How can I recover?
How can I ease the pain?
How can I learn to hate you?
Oh God, to be able to hate you!
But,
I love you.