one, two, three!!!
I'm a lowly rat
in a vampire movie
Oh, woe is me,
Who'll bite me first?
Will it be Tom
So cute and curly?
Or pretty Brad
Who looks so hurt?
These hunks from hell
Are all around me
And how their fangs
Do make me squeak.
Sweet little Kirsten
won't even pet me
She just says Yuk,
Though she's very sweet.
Oh, thank you, Larry.
Liz Smith, I love you,
and dearest Oprah
how good thou art
I'm a lowly rat
in a vampire movie
your tender words
do break my heart.
But don't you fret, folks
As you hear my story
We want no tears
on your velvet and lace!
I'm a HOLLYWOOD RAT
in a HOLLYWOOD MOVIE!
WHAT WOULDN'T YOU GIVE
TO TAKE MY PLACE?